The Annoying Holiday
by ProtoBlues
Summary: He hated holidays. It was pathetic how so many intellectuals were reduced to cutting shapes. More than anything else, he hated Christmas. It was annoying and useless. Not to mention that the people became useless and annoying too.


Ah, another D.N. Angel fanfiction... I should really finish my first one, but this is a one-shot, so it doesn't matter that much. It would be hard to balance if I had two multi-chaptered fanfictions... Actually, I do; which is why all of them are on hiatus. I think I'm also going to write a few other Christmas fanfictions after this one. My teachers usually don't give out a lot of homework during the Christmas break, so there'll be plenty of time for me to write fanfiction!

He hated holidays. Especially when the school decided to celebrate them. It was pathetic - how so many intellectuals were reduced to cutting shapes. Why couldn't they celebrate at home, where the inhabitants could agree to celebrate the holiday? It was even more annoying that the school was celebrating a _foreign_ holiday. For no apparent reason. Not to mention that the foreign holiday was based on religion and required a leap of faith of which, he, being the rational, logical, and scientific person he was, did not have.

More than anything else, he hated Christmas. It was annoying and useless. Not to mention that the _people_ became useless and annoying too.

"Hiwatari-kun! Try this on!" A red hat with a white siding and fur ball at the top managed to find itself onto his head. He looked, most certainly, like a doofus.

Satoshi quickly plucked the hat from his head, "I do not care for such unsightly and worthless garments, Niwa-kun."

Daisuke pouted his disappointment. "But Hiwatari-kun; it's really fun!"

"I don't care. I don't like this hat."

"But it's so adorable!" Daisuke argued back.

Satoshi quickly retorted, "Which is why I dislike it."

"How can you not like it? Everyone likes it!"

"Well, then, I am intellectually superior to everyone else and therefore loathe such ineffectual holidays and garments. They're a complete waste of time."

"You don't like the _holiday_ either?" Daisuke cried unbelievingly.

"Isn't that what I just said?"

"But..." Daisuke could find no other words than one, "_How_?"

"How what?" Satoshi was perfectly aware of the query, but he was helping his friend use proper sentence structures. In retrospect, the term 'how what' did not have a very good sentence structure either. Strictly speaking, it was very much grammatically incorrect, but that was beside the point.

Daisuke rephrased his question, "How can you not like Christmas?"

"The same way I don't like any holiday."

If it was feasible, Daisuke's eyes would have been popping out at that moment. "How can you not like holidays?" he exclaimed, as if he just heard that all laws of physics were proven to be incorrect. Not that he knew all the physical laws in the first place.

"They're pointless." Satoshi most certainly wasn't setting an adequate example of good sentence structure.

"But they're all so fun!"

"That's very nice and all, but how is human civilization going to advance because of _fun_, again?"

"Well..." Daisuke half heartedly shrugged for the lack of a rebuttal.

"Exactly." Satoshi felt that the discussion was therefore concluded and decided to read a book to pass the time away. Daisuke frowned in defeat and went off, leaving Satoshi to read his novel in peace. However, that serenity was soon interrupted when Risa marched up to him, with Daisuke following behind her.

"You!" Risa slapped her right hand on Satoshi's desk in a hostile manner.

Satoshi, somehow unfazed, calmly looked up from his book. "Yes?"

"How dare you say that holidays are pointless?" she cried out, obviously very much enraged.

"I dare say such because I have a right to. Do you have a problem with the law?"

Risa growled, "Don't try to act like such a smart-ass!"

"I _am_ smart. However, I am not quite sure what you meant by a donkey," Satoshi rebuked calmly, seeking to further enrage his classmate. However, he wasn't quite sure _why_ she was mad in the first place. So he didn't like holidays; did it concern her in the least? Of course not.

"How can you not like _holidays_? They're the best thing that ever happened to this school!" Risa cried out in exasperation, suddenly changing her attitude. Satoshi figured that it was safe to infer that she was having severe mood swings. He believed, in modern language, it was called being PMSy.

"That's what I told him, Harada-san!" Daisuke added.

"They're pointless and annoying."

"But they're so fun!"

Satoshi glanced at her, then at Daisuke. Was it just him or did Daisuke say the same thing? "They're also repetitive, as you have demonstrated." He wondered for a second if she would understand the underlying insult.

"I have?" Of course she wouldn't understand.

"Niwa-kun said the exact same thing to me."

"Oh... I see... Well... But holidays are... So fun!"

"Said that too."

Risa threw her hands up in exasperation and stalked off with Daisuke. Satoshi rolled his eyes and returned to his novel. However, he was, once again, soon interrupted; by Daisuke, Risa, and Riku, who seemed to have been dragged over by her twin sister.

Satoshi sighed, and without looking up from his novel, said, "I don't like holidays because they're pointless. And I couldn't care less if they're fun." He now looked up from his novel to Riku, "Any other questions?"

Riku blushed at being so easy to perceive, "N-no..."

"Good." He resumed his activity, although he knew that he would be disrupted yet again.

He was right. "Hiwatari-kun!" Satoshi sighed and looked up at his interrupters; Daisuke, Risa, Riku and Takeshi.

Nonchalantly, he asked, "Is it just me or does there seem to be a pattern? Saehara-kun, I don't like holidays because they're pointless and boring. Now, be off for a few minutes again and let me recommence with my novel."

Takeshi smirked, "I don't care _why_ you don't like holidays."

Satoshi looked up, "Oh? Then what are you here for?"

Takeshi grinned and threw a whole box of decorations onto Satoshi's lap and yanked his book from his hands. Satoshi stared blankly at the box. Takeshi explained, "Since you hate Christmas anyways, you can decorate the classroom! It's not like it'll make you lose your holiday spirit since you don't have one in the first place! Now, I can get all the latest and juiciest gossip!" Cackling madly, Takeshi quickly was off.

Satoshi frowned. "Isn't it unlawful to force your work upon others?"

Risa smirked in return, "Well, too bad! That's what you get for not enjoying holidays."

"So to make me enjoy holidays, I have to do all the dirty work? I'm no psychologist, but I highly doubt that will work."

"Like I said, _too bad_!" Risa stuck her tongue out in a childish manner and gaited off.

Satoshi sighed and stood up, "Oh well, I suppose it can't be helped." He pulled out the first piece of decoration, which was a long and fat string of green. He honestly had no clue what it was supposed to resemble. Personally, it looked like an extremely moldy vine to him. He grabbed a nearby roll of tape and stood on top of a desk next to the wall. Quickly, he taped the monstrosity onto the wall and jumped off the desk, eager to finish the box of ornaments so that he could return to his novel.

The next accessory he pulled out was a plastic star. He blinked, 'And this goes where...?'

"Hiwatari-kun!" Sighing, Satoshi turned around, wondering if another student came over to reprimand him for disliking Christmas.

Thankfully, it was just Daisuke. "What do you want, Niwa-kun?"

Daisuke grinned, "I'll help you! See, that star goes on top of the Christmas tree!"

"I see..." That was a rather unintelligent place to put a star. Why would a star, of all things, be on the top of a tree? Sighing, he pulled another desk near to the tree and climbed on top of it while Daisuke positioned himself on the opposite side of the tree to tell Satoshi if the angle was right or not.

"It looks crooked!" he cried up.

Satoshi glared down at him, "I know. I haven't even placed it on top yet."

"Oh, sorry," Daisuke grinned sheepishly, "It's sort of hard to see from down here."

"Niwa-kun...?"

"Yes?"

"How is the star supposed to _stay_ on top of the tree?"

"Um... I don't know. Maybe it'll just stick there...Somehow."

"Right..." But despite his skeptics, he had no other plan, so he might as well try. Just as he was about to place the star on, a voice called out for him.

"Hey! Hiwatari-kun!"

He shifted his body a full ninety degrees to see who had called out to him. Unfortunately, his weight shifted onto the Christmas tree and he fell along with the tree onto Daisuke.

"OW!" Both boys cried out and everyone turned to look. Risa, who was the one who called out to Satoshi, winced in pain for the two.

"I was going to say 'be careful'..."

Satoshi pulled his head up to glare at her, "Bit too late for that, isn't it?"

"Get off of me, Hiwatari-kun... You're heavy," Daisuke groaned from underneath him.

"Right, sorry." Satoshi quickly rolled off.

"Um... The tree too."

"Can't someone else get it off? My back hurts."

"Mine hurts more! You were sitting on me!" Daisuke complained and several students rushed over to pull the tree of. "Thank God it wasn't a real tree..."

"See? Another reason why holidays should not be celebrated - people could get hurt."

"Right, like you care," Risa rolled her eyes.

Satoshi glared at her, "Considering that you caused the plight, I would assume that you would be more sincere towards me."

Risa flushed and quickly muttered an apology. "But you still have to finish the decorations!"

"I never agreed to do it in the first place."

"But see, this is all part of your...um... Education to like holidays more!" Riku quickly took part in the conversation to avoid having to put up the decorations herself.

"Provided that I never _wanted_ this education, I think that I am not obliged to _get_ this education," Satoshi responded, knowing full well what Riku was doing.

Riku frowned and from a lack of a more witty thing to say, said, "Well, then, you're putting it up as a punishment for not appreciating the holidays!"

Satoshi quickly retorted, "Where does it say that I am required to appreciate them?"

"Just do it and stop giving everyone a headache!" Risa snapped, "Besides, it's not like you have anything better to do."

Satoshi sighed and rolled his eyes. Since the whole class was apparently against him, in fear that they would have to put up the decorations, he supposed that there was no choice. "Fine." He grabbed the box and pulled out the first article, a round ornament for the tree.

Daisuke took another ornament from the box, "That's mean, everyone – making Hiwatari-kun do all the work! Isn't Christmas supposed to be able giving and helping others? In Christmas, we go an extra meter to help and support those around us. Even if you think that Hiwatari-kun isn't in a very good Christmas cheer, you're not setting a very good example either." The class started murmuring in agreement and guilt.

"Actually, Christmas is about celebrating the birth of Jesus Christ," Satoshi explained intellectually, "However, before Christianity arose, the date of December 25th was a pagan holiday celebrating..." Daisuke nudged him with his elbow to inform him to be quiet and not ruin the moment.

Risa, as if she was a judge, proclaimed, "We have come to an agreement! We'll all pitch in and help Hiwatari-kun!" the class cheered, in the spirit of giving, and all grabbed a piece of decoration from the box. However, in their clamor to become the first one to be a good person, they managed to push Satoshi onto the ground.

Satoshi managed to quickly get up after Daisuke helped him up and said, "That's the – what number is it now? – fifth reason why holidays should not be celebrated. I could write a whole essay with five well established and good points!"

Daisuke sighed. Just when he thought that Satoshi would finally realize the good side of holidays – that they brought out the best in everyone. But, of course, maybe it was rather wistful of him to think that after one speech, which consisted of four sentences at most, Satoshi would finally be persuaded that humans were not idiotic and emotional...well, idiots.

"By the way, Niwa-kun, I have a present for you."

Daisuke quickly perked up, "What? Where?"

Satoshi smirked and pulled out a wrapped rectangle from his school bag and handed it to Daisuke, "Here."

The eager boy quickly took it and asked while ripping the wrapping away, "What is it?"

He opened it just as Satoshi replied, "A book – a collection of poems by Edgar Allen Poe."

Daisuke's face fell. Well, at least Satoshi somewhat understood the concept of giving presents. But, of course, it was the thought that counted and Daisuke leapt onto Satoshi and hugged him. "Thanks a lot, Hiwatari-kun!"

Trying desperately to pry his friend off of him, Satoshi groaned, "Sixth reason – everyone is drunk on eggnog and high on caffeine."

The ending was really bad... But I just felt like not making it a customary happy ending where Satoshi gives Daisuke a present he really likes and says something very conclusive. So I end it with him still hating Christmas, just...I guess, understanding the spirit of Christmas. Of course, considering that he had the present wrapped before the story took place, he didn't really learn anything during the story... So basically, there's absolutely no moral in this story. Oh well, I suppose its purpose is to amuse everyone.

By the way, I personally do not think that Satoshi and Daisuke are in love like many D.N. Angel fans do, but if you wish to take it that way because it appeals to you, feel free to. After all, I didn't mention any relationship between Riku and Daisuke, Satoshi ended up in an awkward position on to of Daisuke, and Daisuke did hug Satoshi in the end. Interpret this as you will, although I think that many of the interpretations would be twice as complicated as my intentions.


End file.
